10 pointless emails I get every day.

Every day I get a whole batch of emails from all over the world, friends, ex-colleagues, spam, adverts etc most of them are complete rubbish. What I am curious about is why every day I get the following ten emails (or variations of the ten).

1) Credit - with the world wide crunch on, why would I want more credit.
2) Letters from banks I do not have an account with advising me to change my details. Why, I don't bank with you. Don't insult me, I know you are phishing you fool.
3) Sad pathetic, obviously made up letters from sick individuals, in some African backwater whose father (the minister for lies and inventing things) has sadly died in a horrific skateboarding incident and needs to get $50m out of the country. Seek help you sick people.
4) A larger penis - I am happy with what God gave me thank you.
5) Viagra - thanks but no need and if I did I would go to see a doctor.
6) $10 credit on a gambling site - do not think I am going down the gambling route either.
7) Lonely East European girls looking for conversations - well get out and meet people then.
8) Excellent watches - I hate watches and really wear then, plus I do not need a new one every day.
9) Surveys regarding my attitudes towards whatever seems the big question of the day.
10) Jobs update on vacancies in America, I live in Italy the commute would kill me.

I wish these people would get a life, get a day job, get out of my hair and stop sending stupid pointless advermails, spamalogues and junkisments as I am not interested in any of the above.

Mad dogs and .............

So today is the start of my weekend as next week we have two weddings at the hotel, Monday sees the arrival of 11 Mexicans from Dallas and after that we have 22 Brits invading. Until then I have some peace and tranquility to get some drawing done. This is not that easy either however with temperatures averaging the mid 30's it is hard to settle and concentrate for the majority of the day. I know its a hard life.

I decided to walk to the next village, some 4Km away to pick up a picture I have just had framed and do some drawing along the way. Well I didn't take into account the time and temperature. 12.00 and 32 degrees was not conducive to painting so I settled on an ink sketch and completed the painting later when my watercolours had stopped behaving like icing sugar.

There is something so relaxing about a nice, steady, two hour walk, chat with the locals, cappuccino in the bar and a read of the papers on a Thursday afternoon. Enjoy it while it lasts, next week is all bells, smells and vicar where's my bouquet. Another J.B. Priestly novel looms.

Terry's Pad

Another typical Umbrian/Tuscan hillside villa, covered in grey rendering with natural stone showing through. It has the normal green foliage for a background you would expect as we are high up in the mountains here. I love the stone walls that surround these properties they look like they have been around for centuries but in many instances were reconstructed within the last couple of years.

This was a difficult painting to do as I had to work from photographes and have never seen the house. I think though, I have managed to get a feel for the building.

Would Michaelangelo Blog (10 historical blogs)

If Michaelangelo, Raphael or Leonardo had lived today would they have blogged?

Well Raphael has left us examples of his graffiti in Citti di Castello, so he would have probably been tagging the local trains. Leonardo is famous for his inventive mind, so you can imagine him using an Ipod and releasing podcasts. Michaelangelo, if you had a commission like the Sistine Chapel wouldn't you blog it to the world. I think the people of the Rennaisance would have been as adventureous today as they were in the 16th centuary and Leonardo's podcast on helicopter design and Michaelanglo's blog on church painting would be ledgendary.

Ten famous historical blogs worth reading:-
1) Noah - Ship building in your back garden.
2) Napolean - My European holiday.
3) Queen Victoria - We are not amused, personal blog of running an Empire.
4) Florence Nightingale - First Aid on a shoe string.
5) Budha - Ommmm! and other strange sounds.
6) Henry VIII - Henry's guide to women.
7) Casanova - Safe sex guide
8) Shakespeare - 2B or not, personal blog and short stories.
9) Christopher Columbus - Go West, wifi and hot spot guide for the New World.
10) Eve - Dressmaking tips with plants.

What blog would you subscribe to?

Villa Bastiola

I promised my friend a picture of her guest house and this little watercolour has taken a couple of weeks now as I never quite felt right about it. Must be something in the air or the fact that the sun is finally out but I think I have got it sorted now. All I need is the full version now, lets hope the sun stays around for a couple of days longer.

Top 5 Animals I didn't expect to see in Italy

1) Porcupines Driving home one night down the countrylane linking work and home I nealy ran over two of these creatures. Having never seen one before in real life, just about running them over in the dark was quite a shock.

2) Wild boar While out walking the dog we rounded the corner on our quiet little lane and saw a baby wild boar hot footing it into the undergrowth.

3) Snakes big snakes. I was walking along the railway track with my wife and sister in law when out of the bushes ran a lizard, hotly pursued by a three foot long snake. All of us, snake and lizard included jumped. Listen out for noises in the undergrowth when out walking or drawing, you never know what is out there.


4) Scorpions Within a week of being here I wondered into the bathroom late one night and in the middle of the floor, bright red was this massive scorpion. Check your shoes regularly is now my motto

5) Hummingbird insect Yes, it looks like a little bird but it is actually an insect.


When deciding to move to Italy we researched properties, jobs, relocating but never once looked at mad crazy animals in the wilds. Take note, you never know what surprises await you.

Washing Instructions Included

In todays world of lables, instructions and dire warnings I have decided its high time additional information was carried on paintings. We don't know how they were painted, whether they are ecco friendly, or if dubious labour practices been employed in their manufacture. So it is my suggestion that we all attach washing instructions to our paintings, so that purchasers can rest assured of a cleaner, brighter and worry free art usage. With that in mind the above is a suggested list the responsible artist should employ in classifying their artwork.

Dog Kennel

More from the strange structures in the countryside series. This interesting collection of ramshackled outhouses is the home to four hunting dogs. It is constructed from all sorts of found objects, pallets, corrigated sheets, tarps and wooden planking. It reminds me of the kinds of dens we used to make as kids.

And so it begins

Well I guess you have to start these things somehow so I have decided to post a painting of some farm buildings in the fields behind our appartment. Its a lovely wide valley, through which the Tevere flows and has luscious green wooded hills all around. At the minute the fields are full of grain, tobacco and sunflowers which give the area a lovely yellow when they flower.